can't sleep

so i turned 24
it does not feel much different

on Sunday i get to pick up Ellen and we're going to spend the day together
it's going to be nice

recently i've been reading up too many things
my brain is a bit overloaded with information

on antisemitism,
some of the definitions on the term are very extreme and some are just loose. violent acts of hate against a specific group is not something i would ever consider. although, what if this group of people is doing just that against others? in that case i don't really care what kind of culture you have. the right to lead a free life belongs to everyone. Being against the state of israel for denying basic human rights to Palestinians apparently is antisemitic.
how does this happen
everything has to be this sort of reverse racism mantra when it comes to jews
to me they seem to bring the prejudice upon themselves and they do it very well

origins of the aryan race
well it had nothing to do with the planet earth, i'll tell you that much
the concept of a master race doesn't really apply to human beings
how it came to be adopted might have come from an over exaggeration of fictional literature
there may be some facts about the origins
but i do not agree in the "master" part
they're just another race

free energy
the general consensus is that somehow free energy devices are transforming energy from the environment into usable work, mainly a movement of electrons. they key of it all lies in creating the conditions for an adequate medium for this new type of energy. i do not think we will come up with anything for a while. i could be wrong, but our thinking was not ever nurtured into thinking about maybe having in infinite amount of energy. the concept of scarcity is much too rooted in the mind of those who do this kind of research. we need a new breed of researchers to become free from old ways of thinking.

working out
well i'm finally doing the classic version of p90x. i had to skip today's workout. i was way too tired. hopefully i can fix my diet before i get too far into the program. that or i will just be a very pudgy very muscular guy.

personal finance
well i've started pumping as much money as i can into my savings
found out my bank has a great trading account deal
100 free trades! holy crap! this is going to be all kinds of great
i've have began to think of the stock market inversely
bear market means cheap buys
i will not be suckered into buying a stock on it's way up
of course that sounds like an oxymoron
but there's a good explanation to it when you know what you're doing
let's hope i read enough before i blow all of my money

reading a book called tragedy and hope
western civilization. i wonder what will happen with us.

just another day

so i was eating lunch at subway earlier today and this guy randomly ran into the glass window thinking it was the door. being a saddist can be very rewarding sometimes.

it's was my second day of officially starting the classic version of p90x
i had been doing the lean version
things are going good with it
plyometrics always kicks my ass
shoulders and arm workout tomorrow!

it's good for my fingers

today i picked up albert in north dallas
we came over to my place and made music
i am very glad i gave him my synthesizer
he knows how to use it better than me now
it was fun to just pick up the guitar again
i have neglected it for a long time

coasting

i went to the acura dealership on monday
it was a great experience
they let me test drive the car i want
the guy who took me out was just as young as i am
20 something with not much to lose
so we went to the back of the dealership and waited for traffic to clear out
then he told me to floor it, so i did
got to 95mph right before i almost ran out of road to brake
the car drove like a dream
we headed back to the lot and he then took the order for the exact specs of the car i want
when he finds it they are going to call me
so exciting


aside from that i'm a little bit stressed with money matters
even though i do make enough i'm still having to pay for things my family needs, mainly my brother
he needs to get his act together
i've already paid for almost 2 evictions
ugh.

not the greatest of days

hm..
why is it so hard to find a good doctor who won't just pump you full of medicine!
seriously i'm tired of it
"take as needed" prescription, it's just messed up

CoD

video games are my one and only vice
whenever i start i just can't stop playing
we started a clan!!
gaah we are extremely good at domination
we still kind of suck at team deathmatch
we'll see how we do with hardcore matches

what a great sunday

today i went to the cheesecake factory with Ellen.
the hype on that place definitely did not disappoint.
the four cheese pasta i ordered was AMAZING!
after eating we called Tyler and went to shadow lan to play left 4 dead.
then i took Ellen back to denton.

on the way to denton i got a text from caroline asking me to babysit Lily for a while
she's one very interesting kid. i asked her to show me her mean face and this is what she came up with:
















she also painted a picture

no school?

really? after i drive all the way from butt fuck nowhere downtown dallas? yeah fuck me right?

ran 3 miles today
i need to get cracking
hopefully i'll be able to get on my bike again
haven't cycled in over 3 years
but the summer is coming up and going to white rock lake is so amazing
the summer sunsets there are WOW!
also this year i'll actually walk up to the old guy on the lawn chair with the sign saying "free advice"
i should have done that a long time ago

rough day....

well..
again the only good thing i can say about it is that i worked out.

work is just getting ridiculous.
not only are we already doing the job of several different people
the company is getting rid of some several thousand employees and giving us the work load.
on top of that...
the only person in my team between 5pm and 10pm is none other than me.
since pay predetermined by the union contract, i'm not getting paid to do 3 jobs at once.
the fact is completely ignored.
on top of ALL that.
the company refuses to change my status from part-time to full-time even though i work 40 hours a week and sometimes do required overtime.
of course, more work does mean job security, but even that isn't worth it when you're being abused.

today Ashley Rice messaged me
i still don't understand how the simple fact that she's pregnant doesn't make her realize she probably should reconsider doing so.
both her and her mother sent me friend requests on facebook today
as if she suddenly cares about what happens in my life
i wonder what the father of that kid would think if he knew how attached me and her are.
i won't spite the kid regardless of anything
if i happen to be a part of them someday i'll just let them know what i know now.

laundry day

why can't laundry just do itself...

today felt very long.
the only good thing out of it was that i was able to finally work out after a few days of being sick. 4 miles felt like nothing! i'm probably going to do it again tomorrow rather than just 3.
i've quite a bit to do before i sleep though.
cleaning my kitchen and my room is not going to be fun.
seeing a mess kind of makes me annoyed at myself.
i don't want to go back to living like when i did too much xanax.
at least that part of it is a good feeling, i actually care nowadays.

Ellen texted me and asked me how my day was going.
that definitely made it bearable.
gaah she's just all kinds of great.

work...
ugh, two hours of training.
usually it's fun to do.
but they crammed too much material all at once.
my head hurt.

the magnet motor

so far i have confirmed many of the observations provided by people who were looking into working with magnets.
while playing with the make shift rotor i made, i found out the arrangement of the magnets can't just be approximated. It has to be exact.
i have 12 1/2 inch diameter magnets with 7 lbs push/pull force. the north pole facing out on the stack of cds.
and then, i'm using several 1 inch diameter magnets stacked on top of each other as a "push magnet". each one of the has about 14 lbs push/pull force. i'm calculating about 70 lbs of push/pull force total with them.
with the current arrangement some sort of magnetic flux is being caused with the spacing of the 1/2 inch magnets. the push magnet is getting stuck on it and then the rotor doesn't move.
i'm taking this information for what it is since i had to experience it eventually.

there are not so great news for my bank account.
more exact mesaurements means more money on materials and tools
i guess that's fine but ugh.....
this whole week will be dedicated to playing with the magnets a little bit more before i commit them to one specific project.
as of Sunday i will begin to gather materials for what will become a Bedini motor.
the task seems a bit daunting since i have no experience making complex circuits.
much less a circuit which violates everything they taught me in class.

3 days of this!

GAAAH! stupid food poisoning!
i made sure to send a message to the owner of Zini's
hopefully something like this didn't happen to other customers

Today was kind of neat.
I was able to hang out with Sasan and play video games.
We hardly ever hang out so it was just nice to hang out.

Tomorrow hopefully i'll be ok to drive and see Ellen.
That lady keeps slowly but surely taking over me more often.
I don't mind it one bit
As oblivious as she can be, she's still all kinds of amazing.